


Chair Just Happens

by SpaceFrienderOfficial



Category: Darkseed (Video Games), Harvester, My Little Pony Gen 3.5
Genre: EDIT sry its 2017 and I dont wanna finish this I neither put in effort or interest catchya later, I don't actually have a plan for this so don't come into this with expectations or anything, There might end up being more fandoms later on, also why am I the first person in the Harvester tag come on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:51:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7112365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceFrienderOfficial/pseuds/SpaceFrienderOfficial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A boy attempts to gain a personality and knowledge by fucking up the multiverse. Violence tag added because Harvester mostly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chair Goes To Hell

**Author's Note:**

> A little context: Chair (the boy in this chapter) may or may not have powers that are somewhat between illusion and reality warping. I'm not really sure what he does. Kinda the reason I'm writin this, tho.

A young man sits quietly in the corner of an empty, windowless room. He stares blankly at the wall in front of him, smooth and white. He has not left this room or looked away from this wall for a single moment since he had begun existing, which he estimates was around twenty minutes ago.

                He thinks about his current existential crisis, the crisis being that he existed. In his memory there was knowledge of a human society, but he never remembered being part of it. He wasn’t even sure where this society would be in relation to his current location, or whether or not it was still a thing right now. Also, according to human society he was supposed to have been “born,” and he was semi-sure that just suddenly showing up didn’t count. How was he here? Was he human? Was he a “cosmic fuck up,” as the humans would say?

                He puts his face in his hands – his first movement ever, he's mildly excited about that – and finally looks around the room. There were no doors here, or any kind of anything that wasn’t a wall, ceiling or floor. Since there was no visible way for air to get in, shouldn't he have suffocated by now?

                He thinks for a second, and realizes he hasn’t really been breathing. He shruggs it off, deciding to find a way out of here before anything else.

                Standing up, he feels something move from underneath him. Looking down, it appears to be a semi-transparent black sphere about the size of his palm. For reasons he isn’t sure of, he recognizes it as a knife.

                He picks up the knife and barely gets to examine it before it begins to glow. He’s not sure what this means, but he thinks it’s safe to assume that it’s good and helpful.

                The knife promptly explodes into a beacon of pink light. When the light is gone, the room is still present, but the boy is gone.

 

 

                Weird, thinks the boy as he turns the knife over in his hands. The light hasn’t seem to have done anything. He didn’t feel any different.

                Suddenly, a gust of wind blows by him. He looks up. He seems to be standing on a small grassy hill in the middle of a forest. Okay.

                Cautiously, he pockets the knife and decides not to touch it again. He was glad to be in literally any place that wasn’t the room, but he felt like the knife was something you shouldn’t mess with too often.

                He begins sauntering down the hill before suddenly stopping about midway up. He looks down at the grass at his feet. He’d never touched grass before. Was it really as grassy as the people say?

                He crouches down and brushes a blade of the stuff with the back of his hand. Whoa, it was even better than he thought it would be! Without further hesitation, he immediately sits down and starts ripping out handfuls of grass, placing them on his knee and throwing it into the air, putting so much of it on his head that his pink hair was barely visible. It’s quite the happening.

                “Hey, what are you doing?” a voice suddenly cries out.

                At this point, the boy has lain down and placed a small pile of grass on top of his face. At the sound of the voice he begins brushing it off. He then sits up and looks around.

                “…What are _you_ doing here?” The voice is coming from behind him.

                He turns and finds himself face to face with oh fucking hell no.


	2. Chair *Actually* Goes To Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A demon and a mysterious stranger approach Chair. This stresses him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to update folks I've been havign quite some time

The voice belonged to a man short in height, neutral in expression, and brown in hair, and confident in pose. The boy was not sure what to call this man.   
“Greetings,” says the man, revealing himself to be nerdy in voice. “I’m a lesser demon. My name’s Todd. What’s yours?”  
The boy now knew what to call this man. However, he does not know what to call himself. “I. Uh.” He says, hoping that Todd might cut him off and he would not have to finish the sentence.   
Todd does not cut him off. They both stare at each other for a few minutes until the boy finally has to admit that he doesn’t know.  
“We’ll just have to get you a name then!” says Todd helpfully. “How about Chair?”  
The boy does not remember what “chair” means at the moment, too distracted by the fact that he was currently in the presence of a demon and was still processing it. “Sure.”  
“Excellent. Speaking of chairs, I’ve got a whole set of them back at the house, and you sure do look like you could use an actual chair to sit in. I don’t mean to make assumptions, but that’s what you look like. By the way, are you dead? That’s probably a problem. Dead mortals aren’t supposed to be here. Not that living mortals are supposed to be here either, but dead people aren’t really supposed to be anywhere that’s not the afterlife. New rule. That’s why you’ve never seen a ghost. It’s illegal to be a ghost now.” Todd says.   
“Yeah,” Chair says, not paying any attention to this. He was too busy brushing off the grass on his thighs.  
“Yeah? So you are dead? Damn it. I’m gonna have to escort you back to hell then. Come on,” Todd immediately picks up Chair and hoists him over his shoulder, with strength he did not look to have. Grass gets everywhere. It’s a right mess, but Chair finds himself too tired to complain about anything.  
The demon starts running at full speed, which was somewhere between a powerwalk and a full sprint. Chair isn’t really sure. He’s not sure how he got this tired, either – he only picked up an orb and some grass, but he feels like he’s run a marathon after not moving for weeks. He feels like melting into the Todd’s shoulder. He closes his eyes.  
“Hello, er, buddy! You seem… kinda… tired for a dead pal!”   
Chair jolts awake to this noise among many others; those being the sounds of screaming, industrial machinery, and laughter. He’s slumped in a bench now, and he seems to be on some sort of hell subway. It’s just like a regular subway, except that things were red now and there were more demons.  
A cheery swing song, turned up to the maximum volume the subway’s speakers would allow, is still struggling to be heard through the other noises. Chair starts to realize exactly what’s happening.  
He stands up and almost gets thrown to the floor by the impossible speed of the subway. Deciding to sit down instead, he carefully climbs back into his seat and looks around for the demon from earlier. “Todd!” he yells. “Where’s Todd!”  
“Who the shit are you blabbering on about? Calm down!” The owner of the voice that had woken Chair, clapping their hand onto his shoulder.  
Chair screams and jumps away from the stranger, running into a nearby pole (they have those on subways) and clinging to it defensively. He turns his head to glance back at the stranger.  
They’re the same height as him, around 5’7, with teal hair halfassedly pulled back into a ponytail. Orange shades with white frames obscured their eyes, but their expression is enough to give away the fact that they seem confused and concerned. They step away from him, putting their hands up in the air, and somehow, miraculously, they don’t immediately fall down when they do so. They must have incredible balance, Chair notes. A dangerous being.  
“That’s the exact opposite of my intention!” They shout, then they realize that that may be seen as hostile. They try to talk as quietly as they can while still being heard among the clamor. “Stop your commotion, please!”   
“Who’re you! Asshole!” That’s probably rude, but Chair’s too off guard to acknowledge it. He clings tighter to the pole, squishing his face against it in an attempt to be as safe and still as this fastly-moving subway would allow.   
The stranger winces at the bluntness of Chair’s response, but tries not to react too harshly. “My name is Bion. I want to get you out of here.”  
“And where is here?”   
“Hell.”  
Chair frowned. “You’re joking.”  
Bion shook their head. “I can’t really explain right now. But you’re not supposed to be here. So can you please just take my han-“  
Someone suddenly lurched into Bion, causing them to collapse to the subway floor. All their previous balance, gone. Perhaps they were less of a threat than Chair thought.  
The someone turned out to be Todd. He calmly walked right on top of and over Bion as if he didn’t notice them. “Ah, Chair! I’ve been looking for you! I was just talking to my boss. And by ‘boss’ I don’t mean ‘satan’! No, as much as she’d like to be, she’s not even remotely close. I could probably take her in a fight, actually. Anyways, she wants to see you, and then you can go to your assigned spot. And hell’s gotten a lot better in the past few years, you’ll be surprised!”  
Todd offered his hand to the boy.   
In that moment, the reality of it all hit Chair. His suspicions were confirmed.   
From the beginning, Chair really had been dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been on a subway

**Author's Note:**

> Don't yell at


End file.
